Like most kids, I’m sure that you grew up wanting to conduct weddings. As the years passed, you hit maturity, and your religious faith went the way of Sonny Bono. That childhood dream took a permanent vacation with your Legos and teddybears.

With the advent of new-fangled internet technology, those dreams can be resurrected. The Universal Life Church Monastery has ordained over 20 million ministers to date. With just an internet connection and 5 minutes of your time, you too can become an ordained minister for life.

The best part is… Your ordination is legally upstanding in every state in the USA! No level of government can make judgements regarding the “quality” of your ordination, provided that your church is legally recognized (the ULC is).You may have to register with your county clerk before you conduct the wedding, so check first. Finally, to make that special day even more memorable, the ULC even sells wedding guides and paraphernalia.

So, there you have it, now go conduct a wedding. Even if you don’t have any upcoming weddings that need your help, get ordained anyways. When your boat is sinking in the middle of the ocean, the young couple on starboard is sobbing about how they never got to see their wedding day, and somebody calls out “Is anybody here a minister?” you can boldly step up and officiate the most heart-gripping wedding the world has ever seen. How’s that for an “I hope I get into heaven” hail-mary?